Life just seems very hard and confusing right now. I am 22 years old, soon to be 23, with a bachelors degree in Aeronautical Engineering. I want to live in the U.K, because I have my freedom to do what I want there. What do I want to do ? Filmmaking which I just discovered last year through acting. Thing is, it feels like its too late for me to pursue this art form, as I have obligation now to get a job and provide for my family, which is no problem at all, But I feel like I've lost my freedom now that I ve come back to India. Im about to be 23, I want to be Independant. I was overwhelmed by drama and acting that I i just ignored my studies and failed all of my exams. I caused this. and due to this fact, my parents, obviously are very upset and disappointed by me. its my mistake. I feel worthless and miserable, and of no use to anybody. SO much so, that a few days ago I contemplated suicide by slitting my wrists. I went outside, walked under the hot sun, up and down my street and cried it off, I bought some food and was eating it at the same time cuz food always seems to cheer me up a bit. how did my life end up like this ? through my actions of course, but i dont want it to be this way. I want to change it, under my terms and my terms only, I know I will come out of this through hard work and preparation.This is only the beginning, I'm going through my own evolution to reach all of my goals and my true potential. The sole purpose of this blog is to maybe give someone else comfort or happiness by realising that maybe their not alone and there are other people feeling and going through shit as well. and thats all I really care about.
